The World’s Most Evil Mirror

Mirror, mirror on the wall / who is the fairest of them all?

There are good mirrors, and there are bad ones. The good mirrors don’t lie, or if they do they make you thinner or taller than you really are, instantly banishing an extra five pounds off your hips. And if the good mirror is lit by orange or yellow light, blemishes on your face magically disappear as well.

Good mirrors are usually found in the restrooms of date places, like restaurants, hotels, and the like. For anxious women doing a powder check these mirrors are a godsend, making them feel beautiful and giving them the boldness to head back to their tables where their dates are waiting.

And then there are the bad mirrors. No matter which angle you strike a pose at, you always look a little bit misshapen, with bulges in all the wrong places. Couple that with harsh fluorescent from overhead and you’ve got the makings of a disaster.

Well, dear readers, I encountered the world’s most evil mirror yesterday, and it was in the locker room of the Fitness First in SM North EDSA. I was changing in the private cubicle into my undies, and then when I glanced at the full-length mirror on the far wall, I was aghast at what I saw. In the mirror, I had a huge butt, dimpled thighs, and the skin on my face was mottled red and white. (OK in actuality maybe I do have these things, but they were really exaggerated.)

Maybe the World’s Most Evil Mirror was placed there to keep women coming back to the gym. Hell, I know I’d want to work out more if I looked like that in a mirror.

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